Within the past four weeks or so I’ve been moving. Not constantly, but definitely more consistently than usual. My PUSH past HS has included the following:
1. Three in person meetings at the kingdom hall.
2. A visit to my aunt’s house.
3. Taking in all three days of the Regional Convention. (Between the Buckingham and Liacouras locations)
4. In person ministry
5. Having my hair braided
I may be forgetting some things, but these alone are big in my fight to not be conquered and completely put on pause by this disease. While it would be easy to just give in to how I feel, I have to make purposeful decisions to do the things that matter to me and live as fully as this body allows.
In this moment, I feel a bit like I’m in what sometimes feels like the confining brick room, also known as the unending discomfort and limiting effect of HS, but I’m praying my way through and thinking ahead to what things I should put on my calendar of conquest next.🗓️
My sister Lydia said to me today that she feels she talks a lot and has been told as much by others. It literally took time for me to compute that statement in my head because it’s so contrary to what I’ve experienced in our 24yrs of being friends. 🤔
I had to strongly disagree! My sister is expressive and knows how to hold a balanced back and forth dialogue, which is why I literally can talk to her every day and never grow tired or bored with our conversations. She makes me feel heard and understood.
Reflecting on this made me search my mind for people I do think talk a lot and even too much! My conclusion is that people that talk incessantly about themselves, over talk others, fail to listen because of waiting for “their turn” or display other poor listening/conversational skills, are among those that I honestly dread talking to.
In short, it made me realize how fortunate I am to have my sister Lydia in my life. She’s a gem.💎🥰
So, we’re in convention season, and I always break up the three days because it’s too much on me. That’s where this blessing begins!
Instead of doing the three days at the Liacouras, my sister Lori and I decided to catch the Friday program today at Buckingham assembly hall. This has been the plan for some weeks now.
Now, maybe a little over a week ago, I begin feeling sensitivity to the left of my navel 😥… Yes, always an anxiety ridden experience because of the horrible flares I’ve had in the past. I decided to proceed and not get stressed out, but as expected, it begins to take shape..OY!
My prayer to Jehovah was literally that it not develop into anything crazy. So I’ve been keeping an eye on it for the past week or so. I expressed to my therapist Monday that this time had to be different! HS has taken enough from me these past fifteen years and I’ve had it. My plan was to keep the plans I had in place.
Meanwhile, Lori wasn’t onboard with me enduring such a long day in this state. I appreciated her concern, but was determined to get to the convention today. Well, for your reference, the cyst was about the diameter of you touching your thumb to your middle finger with lots of inflammation surrounding it.
Draw out salve on the cyst.
Starting yesterday, I applied a concoction of tumeric, two different draw out salves, tea tree oil and the powder from a zinc gluconate capsule. I also did a tumeric and salt hot compress yesterday evening.
That brings us to today. My awesome sister came and got me and we went to Buckingham. During the break, I stood and waited for her while she went to try to assist someone. I wasn’t comfortable and went to touch my stomach. It seemed like I felt moisture, but I took it to be sweat. Wellllllll, when the program ended and we were leaving, I felt my stomach again… This time I knew what had taken place.
Drainage on my tank top
I was and am still sooooooooooo thankful to Jehovah for the way, beyond a doubt, he blessed me. For me, it’s literally as if he said, “I saw your effort, struggle and determination. Now I’m going to show you that I appreciate it.” What a sigh of relief.
I’ve had flares that lasted weeks, some even more. When they are on the abdominal area, it makes for very painful bowel movements because of having to use those muscles. My wonderful God and the prayers of some awesome people in my life, spared me that misery.🙏🏽
I did something this weekend I haven’t done in quite a while. I made it out to share in in-person ministry yesterday and turned around and made it in-person to a Sunday public meeting!👏🏽 Whew Weeeee! Lol
A sacrifice isn’t a sacrifice unless it’s a sacrifice. Despite any physical soreness, I feel good that I was able to do this. I’m happy to show Jehovah that I’m still pushing and trying to demonstrate my appreciation for what he has and continues to do for me.
Luke 13:24 says, ‘Exert yourselves vigorously to get in through the narrow door” I realize that my push will look different depending on the day, week etc, but, my goal is to consistently strive to do more in my service to Jehovah when I can.
I’m thankful for my sister Leah’s invite to join her in spiritual activity this weekend. It’s wind down time now
It’s so easy to hold onto things for one reason or another, but getting rid of unneeded items feels good! I’ll be focusing on clothes and shoes starting tomorrow, but I felt moved to get a jumpstart today!
The one small bag of misc items I have for the trash is already giving me a great feeling of accomplishment.👏🏽
I go out quite infrequently these days, so holding on to clothing and shoes just for the sake of it makes no sense. Of course I’ll keep the items I’m especially fond of, and I do in fact get out here and there, but I’m ready to say bye bye to everything else.
Many things we can’t control, but simplifying our lives in the areas that we can is beneficial.
We’re here almost at the end of another week. Time goes by quickly.
Last week this time, I was anticipating having lunch with my sisters this past Saturday. I wanted to express my appreciation for their varied demonstrations of love and support. It was fulfilling for me to be able to do that. 🥰
I spent the next few days with my sister Lori. Despite my hangups and HS insecurities, she successfully made/makes me feel….I guess the only word I can think of is ‘NORMAL… within the scope of what’s now “normal” for me. Her beautiful personality and large heart, coupled with her great insight into my preferences, quirks etc., made for a great visit❣️🤗
I’ll continue to steal these moments of joy where I can 😊🙏🏽🌞
I met with my HS support group Wednesday evening. The hosting dermatologist invited the patients that were signed on to speak on our challenges with the disease. When it appeared that others were hesitant, I briefly summery up its impact on my life.
There are very few males that come to these meetings, let alone speak up when they do. Well, when I finished speaking, the gentleman that was on spoke up and said that he was very touched by and appreciated my expressions. This made me feel good.
Even if I don’t always take something away from these meetings for my personal use, it’s still fulfilling to be able to share with others and possibly validate their feelings. The reminder that you’re not alone in your struggle can make a world of difference.
Many people everywhere did laundry, got gas and ran errands today, without any thought. I on the other hand, am expressing thanks in prayer for Jehovah giving me the push, strength and stamina to accomplish these tasks today.
Unfortunately, my father is in the hospital with an infection, so my first run was taking my mom to the hospital. Following that I headed to the laundromat to wash my bedroom rug. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for over a month now, but just hadn’t mastered the push to do. Being that I haven’t been in a laundromat in a gazillion years, I had to leave right back out after arriving, to go to the Wawa for money so I could get quarters. While there I put gas in my tank and then returned to wash my rug, butt pillow and car back pillow.
On my way home, I stopped to pick up food from my sister that she had prepared for our household. I was happy to get home and settled, but felt good for what I had accomplished. Quite sure you know where yours truly can be found tomorrow. 😜
I’m thankful to have had the past week+ to spend time with my sister Leah.🥰 It’s really wonderful that our bond has continued over the years.
It’s notable that we’ve done a lot of traveling together, both in and out of the country.✈️More recent years have primarily consisted of our yearly trip to the shore. Even though life has changed and in various ways we’ve changed with it, the foundation of our sisterhood remains intact.
I’m appreciative and secure within my assurance that she loves and cares for me very much ❣️
Love you sister and look forward to spending more time in the near future 😘
I had a conversation with my sister today about eliminating dairy and wheat from my diet. This would be to see if would ease the effects of the HS.
My honest initial feeling following this conversation was frustration, sadness as well as being overwhelmed. After analyzing why I felt this way, I realized that the changes in diet that I’ve made up to this point, were largely to prevent flares and maintain. That in itself was and has been a HUGE and challenging adjustment. So nowwwww, looking at things honestly and realistically, I have pretty much been unwilling to explore what a more stringent diet could do for my healing or betterment.
Now however, it’s time to see what the elimination of these known offensive foods can do to give me more well being in my life. The honest truth is that recipes don’t excite me. Why? Because being in the kitchen is a dread, not a joy for me. That’s why things such as cheese, yogurt etc are easier to turn to. That being so, I know this process will require baby steps. Bagged salads, instant oatmeal etc. Prayerfully these changes will get me to a place physically, where food prep and other task won’t be such a chore. More energy and less discomfort I hope.
I’ll be taking this one meal at a time…. praying all the way.🙏🏽
Hidradenitis Suppurativa 